Archive for the ‘Women Drivers Jokes’ Category

Women Driver on the Highway

I was driving on the highway this morning,
I looked to my right and there was a women
driving a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph
with her face up in the mirror putting on
her makeup.

I looked up, at the road for a couple seconds
and when I looked back at her she was moving
halfway over into my lane, still working on
her eye-liner.

As a man, i don’t scare easy.

But she scared my so much;
I dropped my electric shaver,
which knocked the bagel out of my other hand.

In all excitement and trying to straighten out
my car using my knees against the steering wheel,
my cellphone got knocked away from my ear. It fell
into my coffee between my legs, splashed, and
burned my twig and berries. This resulted in
ruining the damn phone, soaking my trousers and
disconnecting a very important call.

Damn Women Drivers!

Womens Math 710

The other day I was having some work done at the local shop.

While I was talking to Dave, the Mechanic, a woman came in and said:

I need a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other, and the Bert asked,

What is a seven-hundred-ten?

She replied,

You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.

No responce from Dave.
She Continues,

I lost it and need a new one.

Dave still has a blank stare.
She finishes,

It had always been there.

Dave gets the woman a peice of paper and a pen.

He asks,

Could you draw it for me, please?

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked,

Is there a 710 on this car?

She pointed and said,

Of course, its right there.

Click Here to See What She Pointed At

Woman Parks In The Garage

My wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning.

She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting that the night before, she had backed it in.

Woman Police Officer Traffic Stop

A traffic policewoman stops a woman and asks to see her driving license.

Policewoman:

It says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.

Female Driver:

‘Well, I have contacts.’

Policewoman:

‘Lady, I don’t care who you know, your still going to get a ticket.’

Car Troubles

Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”

Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?”

Wife: “In the swimming pool.”

Woman Races Away From Police

A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail.

She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail.

She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer.

Suddenly she saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies’ toilet.

Five minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her.

With a sweet smile she said,

‘I bet you thought I’d never make it in time.’

Traffic Court After the Accident

Traffic Court Judge:

‘Well if you say you saw the woman driving towards you, why didn’t you give her half of the road?’

Motorist:

‘I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.’

Women Drivers One-Liners

We bumped into some old friends yesterday, my wife was driving.

My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so I bought her a rickshaw.

Nothing confuses a man more than a woman driver who does everything right.